Why are you wasting my time?

Men’s shoes: A man ask you for a shoe, you go and get it, and if you have his size he will buy it at least 75% of the time

Women’s shoes: If you have her size, she buys it 27.3% of the time. Usually she no longer likes the pointed toe, the color, the heel height etc… My question to you is, why did she ask to try it on in the first place? None of the above excuses changed while I was getting the shoe. It was the same color before you asked me to get it. The heel is the exact same. Why didn’t you look at the shoe before you sent me on a wild goose chase???

I don’t care how cheap it is

Whenever there is clearance and the shoes are like 10$, some customers feel the need to buy every shoe in their size, doesn’t matter if it is 20 pair and the shoes are ugly as sin. Only to come back, many times the very next day, hauling all 20 pairs in a bag to return them and buy another 20 pair. This ritual will continuously be repeated until the customer has owned, at least once, every pair of shoes in there. I ask, Why? Why would one do that. To go through that trouble, is it a hobby? I just don’t understand.

Things a shoe salesman dreams of…

its bad…very bad…

and for the Simpson’s fans out there … http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season9/krusty1.mp3

Just because I’m in retail, doesn’t make me stupid

Do you hate it when you are trying to explain something to a person and they treat you like you are a complete idiot or that you are lying to them. I have customers daily, especially during clearance season (which is spawn of satan), talk to me like I am trying to lie to them or am stupid. “Do you have any more in the back?” I answer, “No.” One would think that would be enough, but what happens next, “Are you sure you don’t want to go double check?”….WTCrap. Why would I want to go double check. I put them all out myself, and we haven’t had any back there for weeks, if I had it, I would sell it to you. I want you to buy it. And it’s not just once, they will ask you 10 more times before they leave, “Are you sure they’re all out, you don’t have any put aside?” This is not just with sizes, it also goes to color and if the shoe is on sale. I am competent (is that how you spell that? otherwise I’m proving incompetency), trust me. You are the whose elevator does not go all the way to the top, leave me alone.

75% off clearance = Full moon?

75% off clearance in a women’s shoe department, is much like a full moon. When the full moon is out, animals and vicious beasts (like werewolves) come out. They feed on the innocent bystanders, unfortunately standing in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like an owl, attacking a squirrel (does that happen???) under a full moon is much like ladies’ at a shoe clearance, only the strong survive. When the big red 75% signs go up, I have seen grown women fight over pairs of shoes and fatally wound my co-workers, rest their souls. I am veteran of clearance racks, although I do have my battle wounds, I have learned survival. Everyday I just continually remind myself, “Do Not Be The Squirrel”. Remember, if you and your friends are being chased by a bear, you don’t have to outrun the bear, just your friends.

To begin with…

I am a nice person, but for post effectiveness I think sarcasm and impoliteness will definitely be needed…and therefore used from here on out, but please don’t be afraid to talk to me. Thank you and good day.